Day 13

Today was our last official appointment, our consulate appointment.  Our appointment time was set for 8:30am along with several other adopting families.  I have to tell you in advance that there are very strict rules required by the consulate.  The one I had the biggest issue with was NO camera.  What?  The last important appointment and I can take no pictures.  My friends and family and blog stalkers love the pictures, count on the pictures.  Along with no cameras, we could have no phones, electronics, umbrellas, strollers, etc.  So basically what I'm saying is we walked in with paperwork, passports, and the clothes on our back.  So today, you will all have to live the experience through my words because I can give you nothing more.

The US consulate building square is a very bustling area.  Keep in mind that Chinese citizens must go through the consulate to get Visas to enter the US.  No vehicles are allowed to drop off for security reasons.  So our driver parked around the corner and we walked.  We had to sift through the mountains of people waiting on the Chinese side of business.  We got to our line which was substantially smaller and checked in with security guard that had our names listed on an appointment roster.  He checked our passports and sent us on through the security gate to the metal detectors.  We were wanded and then sent through a small courtyard and into the building to the elevators.  We were instructed to go to the second floor, go to window 7, get a number, and have a seat in the lobby.  There were three rows of blue chairs and a little playhouse and large chalkboard for children to play with.  A total group of maybe 7 or 8 families arrived.  After a short period of time, a man spoke to us through window 10 and explained what was going to take place.  We were going to take an oath on behalf of our children swearing that all the information contained in our documents was accurate, then families would be called by number to windows 8 or 9 to review our files.  He also informed us that citizenship would NOT be complete in China.  Not until we land in the US for our first domestic stop, will Jordy officially be a citizen.  This means Jordy will become a citizen upon our entry to LAX.  Once our paperwork was checked, stamped, and signed, we were done.  WE ARE DONE!!!!  Tomorrow, our guide will pick up Jordy's passport with his American Visa and Thursday, we are outta here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the appointment, we ate lunch at Lucy's . . . again.  We walked around the island . . . again.  And we headed to the jewelry market . . . again.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that we have done everything we set out to do and can come home knowing we've had the full experience.  Lots of memories and I've personally learned so much which I hope will be valuable for Jordy and our family as he ages.

Before I do my usual picture review of the day, which will be kind of dull, I feel like now is a good time to talk attachment.  While our time in China has been incredible, and we have had a lot of time to get to know Jordy one on one and bond, we are heading home to our real life.  There are four other kids anxious for our time and attention and we will have to learn how to juggle the new dynamics.  It's going to be a hard road and it is so incredibly important that we focus on being a family unit without too many distractions.  While we welcome guests, it is important that everyone works with us on a few things:

-We really do want to see our family and friends but please give us advance notice.
-Please do not pick up or hold Jordy until Dustin and I feel the time is appropriate.
-We ask that no one outside of Dustin or I fulfill his basic needs.  If he's hurt, direct him to mom and dad.  If he's hungry, direct him to mom and dad.  If he needs to go potty, direct him to mom and dad.  If he wants to be held, direct him to mom and dad.  You get the idea.

For the first almost four years of Jordy's life, he has lived in a home with as many as 40 other children and countless numbers of volunteers.  While they loved and cared for him very well, he doesn't know what a family feels, looks, or operates like.  It's our job to establish a secure environment where he depends solely on Dustin and I.  I know most of you understand and will respect this and we thank you for doing so.

My mother will be the first to tell you just how difficult the attachment stuff is.  Most of you know that I was adopted from foster care at a young age.  When I was dropped off at my mom and dad's house around age two, I remember the insane amount of fear and anxiety I felt.  I wanted nothing to do with my mother.  There were reasons for this but it hurt her deeply even though she did nothing wrong.  To be honest, that fear and anxiety lasted until I was about 10 years old.  When a child doesn't have a secure attachment established from birth, it takes a long time to develop the appropriate pathways in the brain to create that sense of security.  That is the simple explanation which I can confirm from my own experience.  It took my mom and dad an insane amount of time, patience, tears, prayers, and counselling to overcome the damage that happened to me when I didn't have a secure attachment.  Attachment stuff is hard!  Until I was 10 years old, I really had a constant fear that I was going to be abandoned.  At times, I almost hoped for it because I didn't want to attach too securely to anyone including my mom and dad.  My brain developed in such a way that I was always in survival mode.  I was always going to take care of myself, outsmart my parents, and be dependent on no one.  It's an awful way to feel but that feeling was deeply ingrained.  I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of trying to make my parents angry, trying to make my parents cry, trying to put a wedge in our relationship.  Thankfully, my parents didn't give up on me and eventually, I was able to get out of my survival mode.  I finally realized that they weren't going to let go of me in spite of all the bad things I had done.  Over the last two decades, I've come a long way in becoming a secure person, secure with my family, myself, and most of all secure in my relationship with Christ.  He is my hope!

God has sent us on this global mission to bring home this incredible little boy and we are incredibly excited to get back home.  Please continue to pray us home.  We say, "shay shay" which is a phonetic way of spelling out thank you in Chinese.

And now, for the few lame pictures I have for our day:

This ticket is the only proof we have that we visted the US consulate today.  Oh well, at least we have this.  

This is the first day that we actually got to go up to our hotel's pool.  It's on the roof top and has been closed almost continuously due to the daily rain.  Darn you rainy season!  The one thing that is for sure, rain is inevitable daily but it's always short lived.

Dustin requested that I take a picture of him floating so that kids could see it.

Jordy is laughing because he's trying to imitate dad and he is cracking himself up!

Awesome view of the city from our hotel roof.

Tried to convince Jordy to swim in the big pool but it was too cold for him and he complained the whole time.  However, this foot bath was his speed.

It only took four days but we finally walked by and got a picture of Jordy next to these statues.  He's been asleep almost every other time.  It's a rite of passage for adoptive families in Guangzhou.  I love how Jordy almost looks like he's playing with the girl in front of him in line.

There are two like jewelry malls.  This is one of them.  Each shop is selling nothing but jewelry of every type except gold.

These malls are so big, there are street signs indicating the "road" you are on.

This is an indoor medicine mall.  Floors of nothing but homeopathic items for sale. 

Dried snake for what ails ya?

Told you the pictures weren't too exciting today.  Sorry!