Acclimation

The last week home has been amazing.  It's hard to believe we have only been home for one week.  Things have been almost seamless.  It feels like Jordy has been a part of our family for much longer than a few weeks.  Perhaps the almost year of paperwork, prayer, and waiting had something to do with that.  We could not honestly have asked for a better transition.  Jordy loves his brother and sisters.  He eats everything we give him or at least gives everything a fair shot which is more than we can say for our other four.  He sleeps like a champ in a bed with three other people.  Yes, you read that right.  We co-sleep and our bed includes mom, dad, Melina, and now Jordy.  Thank goodness for king size beds!!!  He plays well.  He dances well.  He's joyful and ornery.  Let's just say he is living up to the Petrosky name quite well.

This week has been filled with getting back into the groove.  Dustin headed back to work on Monday and I've been working to get back into the home school mode.  The kids have done great so far considering they aren't very excited about school.  We've done a skeleton week while mom gets adjusted and we will throw more in next week along with beginning co-op classes on Tuesday.  They are excited to be taking drawing, PE, chess, and US geography.  The big Ps also started AWANA this Wednesday.  Hard to believe it's already that time again!

Jordy continues everyday to amaze me.  The rate at which he is learning English is staggering.  A few examples come to mind.  While the big kids were at AWANA, Melina, Jordy, and myself had the chance to enjoy some time together.  We were finishing up supper at the table when Melina stepped out to use the bathroom.  When Melina didn't return right away, Jordy yelled down the hall "MA-LEEN-A."  She yelled back, "What?" to which Jordy cracked up because he was so proud of himself for saying her name.  He did this several times and we all enjoyed a good laugh together.  After dinner, we went out for a little walk and Melina was picking dandelions.  She picked one for Jordy and without any prompting from anyone, he clearly said "Than que."  I was shocked and excited!  One proud momma here. Everyday, there are little examples of his understanding.  I just can't believe how fast it's happening.

Today was Jordy's first visit to the dentist and he did awesome.  The dentist office was not planning on doing x-rays but I insisted.  I knew he had at least one cavity and wanted to do x-rays to capture any and all issues so that we could start fixing them right away.  They agreed to try and Jordy totally made me proud!  He bit down on those silly stupid pieces of cardboard and barely moved.  Unfortunately, the x-rays revealed 4 cavities.  I had already called ahead to see if they had openings the same day to fill cavities and so they got Jordy in immediately to fix one of the four.  They wanted to make sure he did well.  Otherwise, they would have referred us out to a pediatric dentist.  He caused no problems and did wonderful with the gas mask. He did so well they invited him back to the office to fill two more cavities next week.  They are leaving one cavity alone for now.  

Tomorrow, we are off to Chicago.  We have an appointment at 10am our time in Chicago at Shriner's Hospital.  Dustin is working so I'm taking big brother Gerik and Karoline Davis.  Anxious to hear the doctor's initial thoughts!!! 

Cheese!

TV and snack buddies.

Staying out of mom's hair during school time.

Caydra working on seat work.

Natalie doing math.

Gerik attempting to look busy.  Too many fingers on that pencil dude!!!!!!!!

We have only one television that will run Jordy's "Happy Goat" chinese DVDs . . . thankfully . . . the DVD player for the van.  We only bought two DVDs and I'm beginning to think it was still too many.

My brave little man.  He actually enjoyed the polishing of his teeth.

This stupid mask would drive me crazy but not Jordy.  He wore it like a super hero!

Almost done!

Speaking of super heros, guess who found the costumes today?

Left Behind

I have a confession.  I have guilt.  While we were in PingDingShan, China, the director of the orphanage asked if we wanted to visit the orphanage in person.  We declined.  I had very mixed feelings about visiting. Jordy never lived in the PDS orphanage.  After he was found, he was sent right away to Beijing for medical care and was placed at Angel House.  For us, visiting the orphanage did not have sentimental value. However, I feel guilty because I didn't think I could face the reality.  The reality is that sitting in the PDS orphanage are many children, abandoned children.  From what I have been told, the children there are older and most are considered by China to be not adoptable.  They may have too severe needs which is why they live in the orphanage and not foster homes.  I don't know how many.  I don't know the specific needs but my heart breaks.  For whatever reason, they were left behind.  They have no voice . . . they have no future.  At age 14, they will age out and be forced out of the orphanage and on to the street.  They will have no formal education and they will have to figure out how to provide for their own basic needs: food, shelter, clothing.  I can't imagine.  I don't want to imagine.  It scares me to death thinking of what becomes of those children. We have our fluffy "survivor" reality shows in the United States but nothing compares to having no life skills and then being sent out into the world to really truly survive.

We saw some of these aged orphans.  I'm sure of it.  At the Forbidden City, there was a guy missing an arm and a leg using a crutch to get around and ask for money.  In Guangzhou, there was a lady sitting on the sidewalk begging for money that was clearly born with club feet, something easily repaired in the US.  There were many more but those two stuck out in my mind.  At some point, these people were probably orphans in an orphanage and now they are stuck living everyday without a family, without a skill set, without an identity, without a life goal, without hope.  It tears me apart.  I have no idea what keeps them going.  It's not meant to be this way!

Why do they end up abandoned in the first place?  There is no one correct answer.  China does in fact have a one child law.  If you want to have a child in China, you in essence have to apply for a permit before ever becoming pregnant.  What is also interesting to know is that abandoning a child is illegal in China.

What happens if you don't get a permit first?  I don't completely know.  I do know that the local provincial governments in China have been known to do some pretty unsavory things.  While it isn't completely widespread, forced abortions have been known to take place.  I don't mean to suggest that this is the consequence but rather that I know under some circumstances, abortions voluntary and involuntary have taken place in China.  China has even run ad campaigns encouraging abortions.

What happens if you have more than one child?  The government can and does enforce heavy tax penalties on the second child.  I've heard this can cost as much as a yearly salary.  If you can't afford to pay the penalties, the government might force you to terminate the pregnancy or the child may be abandoned at birth to avoid the penalties.  For people that live in the city, one child is the maximum but for families living in rural areas, it may be possible to have two children if a daughter is born first.  The family can try for a boy but I'm not sure what happens if they don't have a boy the second round.

What does a woman do after she has had her one child to prevent a second child?  Our guide in China said that women get sterilized after the birth of their first child.  Now, one of our guides did actually have two children but it was because he had twins.  Since this was an act of nature, it was considered alright.

The last element and the biggest element now has to do with medical needs.  The typical Chinese family cannot bear the costs of major medical expenses.  Should their child be born with any sort of medical need, often times the family may feel they have no choice but to abandon their child because they may not be able to afford the proper medical care.  Unfortunately, because the air quality and water quality are so poor, the rate of children born with defects is staggering.

There are no exact numbers on orphans in China but there are millions.  MILLIONS!  We brought home ONE.  We do NOT know his story.  We know that while he was perfectly and wonderfully made, he wasn't born perfect by the world's standards.  His body poses some unique challenges which his spirit seems equipped to overcome.  We refuse to create a story that isn't true about the nature of his parents.  We do not know their mindset.  We do not know their circumstances.  We will not judge their actions.  But, we WILL actively love our ONE of MILLIONS!!!!

I had to share my heart with you.  Since you are all so used to the pictures I post, I'm re-posting some pictures from another adoptive mother that actually did visit an orphanage while in China this month.  Real faces, real children, real orphanage.  While I don't have the answer, I ask myself daily, "Now that you know, what do you DO?"

What's the first thing you notice?  I can't get the image of their tiny legs and arms out of my mind.

Look into those eyes and tell me it's no big deal!

Home

Thank you all for being patient with me.  I've wanted to sit down and blog but yesterday just wasn't the day. I was completely out of it and honestly felt a little like I was still in flight.  It's hard to explain and I'm not sure if anyone else has ever felt it but I literally felt at times like I was on an airplane going through elevation changes.  It was weird and I'm thankfully grounded today.

We left our hotel on Wednesday evening at 9:30pm Indiana time.  After two van rides, three airplanes, an hour delay, a visit to immigration in LAX, getting stuck in road construction, and getting delayed because of an auto accident we finally arrived home on Friday morning at 6am.  Our total travel time was just under 33 hours.  If I don't see another airplane for a few years, I promise it will still be too soon.  Jordy was a trooper!!!  We had no issues with him at all.  He became a bit disoriented trying to sleep on the plane but it was barely a problem.

In LA, we were met after getting off the plane by airport staff that informed us we didn't have much time to make our next flight and they gave us an express pass to get through all the check points.  It didn't matter. No one really looked at it or cared.  However, it gave me anxiety thinking we weren't going to make our next flight.  We rushed to the immigration desk.  We were directed to the wrong desk, then went back to the right desk and it actually went fairly quick.  While in China, we were handed a packet sealed in an envelope and were told not to open it.  It had to remain unopened until immigration took it at LAX.  It was this packet that we handed over along with Jordy's passport.  Since Jordy is under 10 years old, all we did was literally handed the packet to the immigration officer and then had a seat.  A few minutes later, they called us back up and gave us back Jordy's passport and that was it.  We were done.  Normally, if you are 10 and over, you have to be fingerprinted and give a signature.  We were exempt.  So, we then rushed to claim our baggage which had to be rechecked for the domestic flight to Chicago.  Got that done, headed to our gate and found out the flight was delayed.  Grrr!  All that rushing around and it wasn't even an issue.  Oh well.  It's done.  We're home.

We were hoping to come home and sleep a few before the kids woke up but getting home at 6am just made that not even an option.  Jordy was thrilled to be home.  He right away became excited about Pascal. Caydra and Gerik were the first to awake and they quickly started introducing themselves and the house. Jordy gladly followed them around and eventually Natalie and Melina woke up as well.  The kids played hard all day long.  I was so surprised at how long Jordy went.  It wasn't until almost 3 or 4 in the afternoon that he finally slowed down and fell asleep.  We let him sleep a few hours and woke him up so he would sleep at night.

I had two goals yesterday, complete and turn in my insurance paperwork for work and get a hold of Shriner's hospital in Chicago.  I was successful in both.  Dustin, bless his heart, slept the day away in periodic spurts.  He was exhausted!  Surprisingly enough, we all slept through the entire night.  It was fabulous.

Here are a few of those coveted photos you've all been seeking.  I promise I'll do a little better in the days to come.

Ha!  You thought the food pictures were done didn't you?!

Our last "Chinese" meal in the Guangzhou airport.  Had to have one more noodle bowl.

Jordy got a free gift for the first plane ride, an aqua doodle book.  Notice Dustin is sort of with us but the rows are staggered.

Flight two, we actually get to sit together and another free gift from the air line, a stuffed animal with blanket.

The kids made this for us!

Did we mention Jordy is all boy and loves to wrestle?

Woke up to these cuties.  I <3 them!!!

This kid is such a good eater.

By request, while the big kids were at swim lessons, Jordy and Melina enjoyed a bath together.

Excuse the back lighting.  Jordy is making good friends with Pascal.

It was mentioned in Jordy's file that he loves rabbits.  Lucky him, we happen to have a few.

Introduced Jordy to the backyard.

So, how does Jordy play on a play set like this?  This boy is the king of adapting.  He is so strong, and can pull himself up the slide and then he uses his strong arms to go down the climbing wall.  So there!  

Jordy is getting a kick out of shaking the rope and knocking Natalie down.  She is graciously playing along and falling with all the drama required to crack up Jordy.

This game is called push Natalie off.  Again, she was encouraging it and Jordy was having fun with it.

Jordy fell asleep and was joined by three movie goers that decided they wanted to inhabit the bed as well.

I've had several people ask about the language barrier.  How do we communicate?  Does he speak English? Does he understand us?  No, Jordy does not speak any English.  These last few weeks we have figured out that while English is the most well known language, charades is truly the international language.  It transcends through all the barriers.  We have learned a few of Jordy's basic phrases but ultimately we use motions to communicate most stuff.  He does a great job of repeating and he's very intelligent.  He's picked up on quite a bit in a very short period of time.

While I have to say we've had one of the very best transitions, I can say that we had our first melt down today.  While playing in the backyard, Jordy decided he was done swinging.  So, I got him down and put him in the grass.  He was really upset about it.  Mind you, China doesn't exactly have a lot of grass and his foster home had a paved playing area.  I did not pick him up but rather sat with him and encouraged him to go where he wanted to go.  He kicked his legs a bit, he cried, and I sat with him encouraging and touching him the whole time.  It took ten minutes but he finally settled himself down and decided to make his way over to the slide.  It's hard to know exactly how to handle things sometimes but knowing how much time we spend out in the yard, I felt it important for Jordy to at least try to move in the yard on his own.  Turns out, it wasn't bad after all.  He enjoyed playing with the slide and the grass didn't hurt him.  He ended up crawling across the yard to follow the kids back into the house.

I shared that I contacted Shriner's Hospital today.  I'm thrilled to tell you that we have an appointment this coming Friday morning in Chicago at 9am for an initial evaluation.  In addition to that, Jordy will have his first dentist appointment on Thursday.  Fairly certain he will be referred to a pediatric dentist for at least one filling.  We also have an appointment the first week in September with the pediatrician.  Lots of stuff coming up, and appreciate all the prayers.  Hopefully, we will learn a lot in the next few weeks about what the future holds for our little guy.

Before I forget, I want to thank all of you that have prayed for our grant opportunities.  We had pretty much given up hope but while we were in China, we received notice from the Gift of Adoption that we had been selected to receive a grant towards our expenses.  We are elated.  Looks like we will be paying our loan off sooner than we anticipated with the help of this grant.

Day 14

This is my final post from China. THIS is my FINAL post from CHINA!!!!!  Getting on a jet plane tomorrow.  Yahoo!  At 12:40am Thursday morning Indiana time we will get on a plane headed for Korea. We are praying and hoping for no delays because there is a typhoon working it's way across China from the coast right now and we really don't want the last leg of our journey to be filled with delays or missed flights.

Today was a free day.  The only official order of business today was the receiving of Jordy's American Visa. Without the Visa, Jordy would not have permission to enter the US.  At about 5pm, our guide Becky dropped off Jordy's passport with his Visa sticker attached along with the official papers needed for US immigration when we land at LAX.

Since we had nothing we HAD to do, we took it really easy.  We got up slow, meandered to breakfast, watched tv, read the newspaper and I read part of a book.  We ventured off the island and walked around some side streets.  Ate our last meal at Lucy's and finished our day with Pizza Hut.  We figure we need to re-acclimate ourselves with American food.  LOL!  To be honest, the Pizza Hut here is incredibly high class and the pizza was pretty awesome.

Not too many pictures today:

The following pictures are for all my women friends.  Chinese women are obsessed with their height.  They hate being short to the extent of wearing insane heals all the time.  We saw women walking the Great Wall in heals, the Longmen Grottoes in heals.  Everywhere, women are wearing heals.  Some of the shoes are quite elaborate and colorful.  Of course I didn't think to take pictures at the time.  So, here are just a few from our short walks today.

I have to say I love some of the higher fashion here in China.  Girls and women wear the cutest dresses and outfits.  I have to keep reminding myself, we are not here to shop, we are not here to shop, we are NOT here to shop.  I've behaved myself but it's been hard.  Truthfully, there are a lot of poor people in the three cities we have stayed.  We've seen our share of interesting combinations simply because we know many can't afford much.  I will say I've seen some very bizarre combinations.  Skinny jeans are definitely in vogue for men here but so are mens' capris and jeans many times stop a few inches before the ankle for men. We've also witnessed men wearing all sorts of strange shoes with shorts.  Today we saw a guy wearing gray dress shoes with casual shorts and ankle socks.  I should have taken more pictures of clothing but it requires a level of intrusion that I tried to avoid.

This is a typical bathroom sink in a bathroom in China.  Let's play "What is missing?"

Same game here.  This another squatty potty in a bathroom.  What is missing?

Now, this is not my picture but it's a bit hard to catch this picture in real life.  This is the split pant that many Chinese parents use for their potty training child.  No diaper, just squat and go.

I'm showing you these pictures to talk sanitation.  You don't realize how good you have it until you visit another country that doesn't have the same sanitation standards.  If you are a germ-a-phobe, don't even bother visiting China.  The first picture shows you a sink with no soap anywhere to be found.  I don't know why they even bother installing sinks.  All you are doing is rinsing, no washing.  The second photo I posted shows you that many bathrooms don't even have toilet paper.  If you don't carry your own, you aren't wiping.  I hate to admit it but I have forgotten more than once.  Thankfully, I forgot under the best conditions and some days I sweat too much to know the difference.  Okay, you really didn't want to know that!!! There are a few bathrooms that have toilet paper dispensers on the wall before you go in to the stall.  So, if you don't forget to grab some on your way in you better get a good estimate on how much you need before hand.  The trash can is for used toilet paper and of course the usual stuff.  The last picture of the split bottom pants is just a reminder to me of all the kids that I've seen peeing on the streets. This is completely acceptable here and is actually considered good fortune where ever the child pees.  This means, watch your feet.  You never know if that wet spot on the sidewalk is urine, or something else.  And because there are many dogs, and very little grass in the city, the dogs do all their business on the streets and sidewalks.  Watch your step!  There is a reason the Chinese tell you to take your shoes off at the door.  The hotels we've stayed at have provided us slippers for use in our rooms.  Also worthy to note, very few people pick up after themselves.  People litter everywhere here.  We've seen multiple meal boxes left curbside.  We've watched people throw stuff into the rivers.  It breaks my heart!  And last, the smoke.  Smoking is HUGE here.  If the smog doesn't kill you, I guess the cigarettes will because so many people smoke and I feel like I've smoked a few by just being in the constant presence of cigarette smoke.  I'm ready to come home where we value the quality of our air, our water, our earth, and our bodies.  I'm grateful for the regulations in place that keep our natural resources preserved.

Our last meal at Lucy's.  Didn't quite get the picture set up as well as I wanted.  Oh well!

This is the view out our hotel window.  We've enjoyed watching the birds in the rooftop atrium behind our hotel.

Here is a close up of a peacock in the atrium.

A delivery man.  This isn't even the best example of the crazy stacking.  We've seen the boxes stacked over the driver and out the front.  Totally safe!

Ah, pizza.  And darn good pizza.

Be jealous!  This is bacon wrapped shrimp with ham, sausage, and corn.  Yummy!

 
That's really it.  That's all I've got.  We will see you on the flip side.  Can't wait to post a picture of the 7 of us together at last.